Re-focus

In the last few days and weeks, it has become obvious that my family has not been having a normal Fall - and haven't been having a very normal time for the last little while. It has been extraordinarily difficult to want to blog & chat away happily, acting as though this time is like any other, and so I've decided to stop pretending and worrying and devote my energies where they feel more right.

The reasons for our hard time are entirely private. It is not that it is something so awful I can't tell, or so hurtful I can't say, or even too shameful to speak of. It is none of those things, and doesn't even start to be in that category, and I know that when I say "something has happened and I won't be blogging or talking about it" it makes everyone wonder what hideous monstrosity must be going down over here, and it just isn't like that. It is simply that the blog isn't for everything - and that even if it's something I don't mind telling, it doesn't always matter. That behind all of these stories and entries there are real people, and not every story belongs to me. The story of the last little while in this family belongs to both Nathan & I, and we will maybe tell it someday, in our own way, and in our own time, and if it serves us, but for now our story is our own entirely, and we are working to have it unfold as the Lord means for it to happen.

This family is lucky. We have each other. We are loved, we are safe. We have shelter, and we are not hungry. This is what we will be thinking about right now, and as we stumble through this time in whatever fashion is right for it, and I'll blog as seems right as we go. We're going to hunker down and love each other, and if we start to feel sorry that this time isn't the way we would have it if we were in charge, I'm going to remember that no matter how bad things seem, the Lord is in control. That part never changes, and for that, I am grateful.

Love to you all, back when I can be.

Beth & Nathan